Three Weeks
by KimbraKae
Summary: Everyone has their breaking point.
1. Chapter 1

Three weeks.

"Obi!"

How had she not noticed?

"Obi!"

She hadn't seen him in three _weeks._

"Obi - please!"

She ran faster under the cover of the trees, her breath getting more ragged with every determined step. She screamed his name, knowing he could hear her. He wouldn't just leave. He wouldn't.

 _Three weeks._


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks ago, Zen had proposed. After the most beautiful speech leading up to a culmination of all her hard work and dreams, Shirayuki had told him, with the happiest of tears in her eyes, yes. She was to become what she never dared to believe could be – a princess.

Almost immediately after, Mitsuhide, Kiki, and Obi appeared beside them (Shirayuki was sure they'd been eavesdropping). Mitsuhide cried and picked up Zen in the biggest bear hug; Kiki smiled and congratulated Shirayuki with a slightly less obnoxious but still meaningful hug. When she pulled away from Kiki, Shirayuki turned to Obi, expecting open arms, but he hung back. With his left hand resting on his right shoulder, he brightened his face at her gaze and spoke in a voice that, to most, would sound genuine.

"Congratulations, Miss," he said teasingly. "It's about time."

Shirayuki smiled at him and opened her mouth to thank him, but was interrupted by a still-sobbing Mitsuhide who gathered her in his arms as well, earning a disgruntled look from Zen. She didn't spare a second thought about Obi's less-than-enthusiastic response to her engagement.

The next three weeks had been filled with such happiness and excitement and anxiety as she'd never known. Immediately wedding plans were put into the works – she was thrown into a whirlwind of fittings, color choices, princess orientation, and secret rendezvous moments with Zen when it started to get a little too much to handle. Instead of her normal Obi shadow, Kiki was the one who followed her around and guided her through her days, which she welcomed. It wasn't until the winding down of the third week, and the promise of a free day the next day that gave her aching mind permission to think of other things – one of those things being why she hadn't seen Obi for longer than was normal.

"Kiki?" she asked quietly, as they walked back to her room, in the finer parts of the castle now.

"Mmm?" was Kiki's casual reply.

"Where's Obi?"

Kiki didn't answer immediately, and as Shirayuki peered into her friend's face she saw a trace of worry.

"He…went out on a job." Her response was disjointed.

"Has he been gone all this time? Shouldn't he be back by now? He's usually pretty quick. I know Zen prefers to have him close to home." Shirayuki felt a tightness in her chest at the thought of Obi being on a job, especially alone. After three weeks of nonstop wedding talk, she longed for his lighthearted jokes and unaffected nature.

"This one may take a little longer. He'll be just fine." Kiki managed a small smile. "It's Obi."

Shirayuki returned her smile, but her heart didn't relax any. She tossed and turned that night, unable to sleep with her over excited thoughts.

The next day she met Zen in the gardens, and he took her hand as they sat together and talked more of the wedding plans being made. Every once in a while, Shirayuki felt her mind slipping back into worry for Obi, and she found herself unable to focus on the conversation.

"Shirayuki? Are you all right?" Zen looked into her face lovingly, concern pulling his eyebrows together. "You look a little pale. Should we go to the pharmacy?"

She shook her head, putting on a small smile to appease Zen. "I'm fine. It's been a pretty exhausting three weeks, and I didn't sleep much last night. Is this what being a princess feels like?"

Zen's look of concern deepened at her words. "Why didn't you sleep? Do we need to get you a sleep tonic? I told them not to overwork you," he said, standing suddenly. "I'll talk to them immediately. I can't have my bride – "

Shirayuki blushed at the endearment and grabbed hold of his sleeve, pulling him back down to her. "I appreciate how much you care, Zen. Thank you." She sighed. "I'm fine. Piled on top of all the other obligations of the past few weeks, I suppose...I was just a little worried about Obi too."

Zen blinked. "Obi? Why?"

She nodded slowly. "Kiki told me he was out on a job. He's been gone for a while and I was just worried for him. Where did you send him this time? Is he safe?"

Zen looked further confused and spoke slowly. "Obi isn't on a job. I didn't send him anywhere. He asked for some personal time."

Shirayuki stared, taking in Zen's words and Kiki's lie. "Then…where is he?"

Zen shrugged. "Around. I told him not to go far. I think he just needed a little freedom, so I gave him a week to roam. I've seen him on the grounds a few times."

Shirayuki's heart sank. Obi was still in castle grounds, and he hadn't spared even one second to see her? She wondered why that thought hurt so much. She had, after all, spent more than a few years with him. She'd gotten used to him being around and all of his quirks – the lilt of his walk, the cadence of his voice, the way he put his hands behind his head all too often. He was someone she was used to. Going this long without seeing him just wasn't normal.

"Oh." She put her hands in her lap and looked down. "I won't worry anymore, then."

She tried not to think about it as she spent the day with Zen. It was supposed to be a happy time, and she wouldn't let a few insecure thoughts get her down. She focused on Zen, laughing with him, blushing when he snuck kisses, but returning them in full. By the time they had settled in Zen's office – Zen working on some paperwork, and she with a book in hand on the window seat – her heart felt almost joyful again. Mitsuhide and Kiki also joined them, and she enjoyed the banter quietly, occasionally looking up from her book to take part.

Suddenly a movement outside the window caught her eye. She strained to look in the direction of the forest, a figure walking into its entrance. She gasped, dropping her book and standing, startling the other three. She ran to the open balcony and leaned over as far as she could.

"Obi!" she yelled, knowing it was fruitless. He couldn't hear her from this height, but she wanted to see him. "Obi!"

"Shirayuki – ?" Zen started, but she ran past him, throwing open the doors and running in a quite un-princess-like manner down the halls and out the doors to the forest. Her heart ached. As soon as she reached the forest she screamed his name.


	3. Chapter 3

Three weeks.

"Obi!"

Why had he ignored her for three weeks? Had she done something? Was something going on with him that she didn't know about?

"Obi…"

She stumbled, and let herself fall to the ground. She looked up into the trees, hoping for a glimpse of him, but he made no sign to show he was there. Why, then, did she feel him near?

"Obi, please, talk to me," she said, her voice giving out. More than a few tears streamed down her face. She was sure she looked pitiful, sitting in a heap, crying and gasping for air. But even if he didn't come out to see her, he would know she had tried to find him. Maybe that would be enough for him.


	4. Chapter 4

_Obi_

She…came looking for me.

Shirayuki came after me.

I felt guilty for letting her cry like that; but before my resolve gave out enough to go to her, I saw Zen running towards her. He always came for her, like I wished I could. He picked her up and wiped her tears, holding her close, assuring her that I was okay. I heard him say that she should lie down for a while, because the wedding preparations seemed to have exhausted her. I knew that was the truth, but why in her overly emotional state she would start to worry for me, I wasn't sure.

I watched Zen lead her out of the forest until they were no longer in my sight, and I sighed.

What was I doing?

The way Shirayuki had just broken down in front of me made me wish I could do the same. But I put on my good natured Obi-could-care-less face day after day and fooled everyone. After the engagement, I knew I wouldn't be able to face Zen without pain anymore, much less Shirayuki, and I made my excuses. I asked for personal days, but Zen made me promise to stay in Clarines. Stay I did, only to be brutally reminded every day that the slim chance I'd ever had of being the one Shirayuki chose was gone, and the years I'd spent building my fantasy was quickly shattering.

She was everything.

I had watched as she prepared for her upcoming wedding, and I saw her smile. It wasn't for me, but I didn't mind at all, because it was the only thing I'd ever wanted for her – happiness. I found reasons to catch a glimpse of her, aching to be by her side like I had in Lyrias, just to see the brilliance of her smile. It was strange to me that I could break and be made whole just by being in her vicinity, and soon the feelings inside me were so brutal I knew I needed to walk away. I stopped following her, I stopped knowing where she was every day. I retreated to the forest often, and she stayed in the castle, taking her smile and its warmth with her.

It was dusk now. I jumped down from my place in the tree and stared at the darkening path in front of me, wondering if it was too much to ask for one last goodbye.

I scaled the castle wall, found my way to her balcony. The world around me was lit only by the few torches along the pathways. I pressed a hesitant hand against one of the doors, my heart pounding up into my throat, and my skin crawling with anticipation; the cool night air did nothing to soothe me, because I was burning from the inside out. Biting back my fear, I tapped against the glass. I would only do this if she heard me, answered me. If she didn't come we would just have to end without a goodbye said between us.

I was hopeful, but I was also dead set on expecting the worst.

I waited for what felt like an eternity, and with each ticking second, I accepted our fate. Shirayuki had chosen her path, and I was choosing mine; diverging though they were, I knew it was right. I needed to unlatch the hold she had on me, the hold she didn't know existed. It was time for me to shake hands with reality and accept that she, in all of her indescribable passions and talents and kindness, did not want me. I turned away from the doors and leaned against the balcony's railing, staring out over the kingdom that, in fleeting moments of foolishness, I'd sometimes wished was mine. But would it be changed if I was the Prince, and Zen the attendant? What difference would it have made? Would it always be Zen?

I imagined what Shirayuki would have to say about that train of thought. She believed in fate; and fate had brought her and Zen together first. If I had been quicker – if I had somehow managed to find her before he ever did – would she accept that as fate and choose me? I had never wished more that I could turn back time with the knowledge I had now – before she even ran away from her home country, I would show up at her grandparents' bar, and I would make friends with her. I would be the one by her side, and I would protect her, until she trusted me enough to let me take her hand. I would save her not only from the trouble and heartache that Raj put her through, but from all those who hurt her, sometimes even Zen.

But would a Shirayuki who had never experienced those things be the Shirayuki who lived and breathed today?

I always came to the same conclusion in the end: things, our events, all happened the way they did for a reason, and no matter the fight I put up against fate, this was simply the way things were supposed to be. Shirayuki was supposed to have run from Raj's advances, starting a chain reaction that would eventually lead to me being hired and witnessing firsthand her resilience - and stirring up feelings I never thought I could have. I was always a step behind, a little too late to the party; but fate would have it that way, and so would Shirayuki.

I couldn't complain. Fate, but also by my own choice, led to me being able to spend a few years by her side, learning a lot about her but even more about me. She had a way of tearing me open and making me examine every bit, good and bad, and she accepted all of it with no hesitance. She probably didn't even know she did, but because of her, I wasn't the man I used to be. And I couldn't be him again even if I tried.

I heard the squeak of the door and I turned abruptly, watching Shirayuki blink in the moonlight at me, like she was unsure of what she was seeing.

"Obi?" she said softly, and the crack in her voice broke me even further.

"Hello, miss," I said brightly, forcing a smile in the hopes that my thoughts wouldn't show on my face. But getting to see her again made it a little more real.

"What are you doing up here? Did you climb?" she asked, coming out and shutting the door gently behind her. She shook her head quickly. "That's a silly question. Of course you did."

My shoulders relaxed. I had worried that she would break down again when she saw me, but it was business as usual, treating me like we hadn't been away from each other for three weeks.

"Impressed? It was easy. Although, if I fell from this height, I wouldn't be able to show up to a certain royal wedding. Don't try it yourself, miss."

"Obi!" Shirayuki scolded me, her face paling the slightest bit. So she was feeling a little sensitive. "Don't talk like that. The wedding just wouldn't be the same without you. Zen wants both you and Mitsuhide by his side." She looked up at the sky, at the stars, and I couldn't help but think of the night in Tanbarun when neither of us could sleep and consequently met up on our adjoining balconies. I had informed her that one must think of the person we love while gazing up at the stars, and told her that she should think of Zen. All the while I was thinking of her.

A silence fell between us, and I could sense a struggle on her end. She wore a shawl that she clutched tightly, her lower lip quivering ever so slightly, like she wanted to say something but didn't for fear of crying. A few times I opened my mouth to speak, but everything in my head wasn't making its way very gracefully to my tongue, and I stayed quiet.

"I think we should be honest with each other," Shirayuki said suddenly, turning her eyes to me, looking almost defiant.

I laughed a little, probably too fake. "I believe we've always been honest with each other, miss. Ask me anything, and I'll tell you nothing but the truth."

She hesitated. I could see that she was searching for the words, like I had. Her voice trembled when she was able to speak again.

"Why didn't you come to see me?" she asked.

How could I tell her I wasn't going to be at her wedding? I already knew that it wasn't something I would be able to handle; I had endured so much, held back for too long, and I was going to rip at the seams if I saw her marry Zen. I cared about him, too, loved him even; I didn't want to come to hate him. I wasn't going to be there, and like she requested, I needed to be honest with her about everything leading up to this point. But I didn't know how to make myself say it.

"Miss," I began softly, but she held up a hand to stop me.

"Please," she said with a strong voice, her eyes shimmering with the beginning of tears, "even if it's just for tonight – call me by my name."

A sad smile tugged at my lips. "Shirayuki." I owed her that much. I saw her visibly relax, like my calling her by her given name was a burden lifted from her. "Before I answer your question, will you answer one of mine?"

She joined her hands in front of her, wringing them gently. I looked into her eyes and I could see that she hadn't anticipated my response. Quietly, she said, "Of course."

I tugged at my right shoulder with my left hand. I didn't know how to say what I wanted to, but I was going to try anyway.

"Are you happy?" I asked.

Shirayuki stopped wringing her hands. "Oh," she said softly, again surprised at my choice of words. "I am, Obi. I really am. I have everything I ever wanted, some things I didn't even know I wanted." She smiled. "I chose my path, and long and hard as it may have been, I didn't stray. It led me to becoming someone who could stand proudly by Zen's side. I'm strong, I think, Obi. I'm not afraid." She blushed slightly, and my heart pounded. She was so beautiful. "I'm sorry. That was a bit of a rambling answer, but the short version is yes. I'm happy."

And she looked it. It wasn't just the moonlight that had her glowing, it was the way she held herself. It was the way she turned her head high to the stars, a small smile on her face, looking to the future. Maybe she had just recently discovered her strength, but I had always seen it.

"I'm glad to hear that, miss," I said, receiving a look from her and I quickly corrected myself. "I mean, Shirayuki." I loved the way her name sounded on my tongue. If I said it too much I knew I would lose my edge. "I'm happy that you're happy." And it wasn't even a lie.

"Okay, I answered your question." Shirayuki returned her gaze to me, all seriousness returned. "Now answer mine. Why haven't you come to see me?"

A slew of excuses ran through my head, each one more appealing than saying the truth. "Miss Kiki seems much more fitting to help you pick out wedding dresses and design a ballroom, it just made sense that she take my place," I said lightly, trying feebly to joke. "You've seen the way I dress, you don't need my opinion on what to wear for your wedding day."

"Even so," Shirayuki said, not taking any of it, "you still had the freedom to choose to come see me, didn't you? Zen told me you took some personal days. On those days especially, with no duties, couldn't you have come by, at least once?"

"I'm sorry mi – Shirayuki." I would be trapped soon, I would have to tell her the truth. "From what I observed, you were very busy. I didn't want to intrude where I wasn't needed."

"So you were watching?" she asked, and my heart dropped. I had definitely admitted that I had watched from a distance. "You came to see me but didn't show yourself?"

I stood, frozen in my spot, my breath coming faster. She took a step forward, only further fueling my anxiety.

"All I want is honesty, Obi." Her eyes pleaded with me. "Did I do something wrong? Have I offended you in some way? I will admit that I wasn't the greatest at coming to find you either over the past few weeks, and I'm sorry for that. You're right, I've been so busy. But I missed you."

I swallowed hard. "I missed you too," I said softly, and I sighed. "You haven't offended me at all. And you haven't done anything wrong, this is all on me."

"I don't want you to feel bad about this, I honestly don't," she said quickly, her tone high and worrying. "I just – if there was something that I had done for you to want to stay away from me – I wanted to resolve it."

"It wasn't you," I said. "Like I said, it's all on me."

We stared at each other in silence, and I knew she was going to ask again, because I still hadn't given her a straight answer. Being such a straightforward person, I could see how much it bothered her to have to drag this out of me – but she didn't have to much longer, because the words I longed to say were bubbling up and ready to burst.

"So why didn't you come? Or make yourself known?" she asked again.

I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, stroke her cheek, move her hair behind her ear. I wanted to hold her and make the pain in her face go away, the pain that I'd caused. It was me this time, and that realization sent the words tumbling right out of my mouth.

"Because I love you," I said with my full voice, wanting to make sure she heard me. It was the most sincere four words I had ever spoken in my life.

Shirayuki took in her breath sharply, a look of panic suddenly in her eyes. "Obi – " she started, but I held up a hand to stop her.

"Please, Shirayuki. This is so hard for me to say. I love you. And I have for a long time. I couldn't come to see you because I have reached a breaking point. It's strange to me because all I have ever wanted was for you and Zen to be happy, but that also contradicts my personal desires. It is an unsettling feeling to be constantly at odds with yourself. But you always won out, Shirayuki, and I needed you to be happy no matter what. This is how it's supposed to be, you and Zen together. But I have loved you for so long and grown so used to having you by my side that I am really struggling." I shook my head. "I won't be able to attend your wedding, Shirayuki, but not for anything that you have done. Simply because I let my heart chase after someone who could never be mine."

"Obi," she whispered, biting her lip. "Oh, Obi."


	5. Chapter 5

We stood in silence, the truth hanging in the air between us. I couldn't pinpoint how I felt; it may have been relief, but nausea was also a strong front runner. She knew now. Shirayuki knew my feelings, and in a way, it was liberating.

She took another step forward, and my heart beat erratically as she reached out and grabbed my forearms tightly, looking up into my face. I returned the gesture, my palms holding her elbows, my fingers slipped just under the sleeve of her nightgown.

"Obi," she said again. "You have to know that I love you too. It is not the same love that I have for Zen. But's it's also not like the love I have for Ryu, or Kiki, or Mitsuhide...or anyone. I have a love just for you that I can't describe." Tears coursed down her cheeks. "But let me try.

"I have been with you, just you, for many years now. I believe I developed a sort of codependency that has not been easily shaken. I wish for you every day. I want to see you because you listen, you calm me, and you understand me. Completely." Her grip intensified, and I wondered if she would leave bruises. "What I feel for you…I wouldn't called it brotherly love. It's stronger than that, and much different. You are my deepest, truest friend, Obi, and I can't imagine living a day without you in it." She was choking on her words now. "Please, please don't do this. My heart is breaking. Promise me you'll stay. I need you."

I sensed the warring that was going on in her mind. Suddenly I felt guilty for starting such a disturbance. She didn't need this just before getting married – I shouldn't have come, I shouldn't have opened my mouth, and I shouldn't have hoped for a calm, collected goodbye.

"I feel like you're throwing our friendship away," Shirayuki continued, releasing my arms and moving away from me. "I don't think you understand how much of me I gave to you. I don't think you realize that you are essentially asking me to throw away a huge part of my life." She looked me in the eyes again, and I cringed at the intensity. "Just because you don't think that you're important to me doesn't mean that it's true, and just because your pain is telling you to leave doesn't mean it's the right thing to do."

She was angry now. But I also knew that this anger was a secondary emotion, and underneath it all, she was simply very, very sad. My heart twinged as I realized I was getting what I wanted – this display of emotions showed true and raw just how much I meant to her. I aroused feelings in her, and that was hopeful.

Shirayuki loved me.

I bridged the gap between us once more, taking her face gently in my hands. Shirayuki looked at me with large eyes, trying to gauge what was coming.

"Shirayuki, you have taken up so much room in a heart that I thought could never be permanently occupied," I said, wondering what I had done to become so sappy over the past few weeks. I was falling apart all over the place. "If I were to say that you are my heart, it wouldn't be a lie. I don't know when that will change, or how I can change it. I need time. If I promise not to leave, will you give me time? Will you let me separate from you, no matter how long it takes?"

I had made her cry too many times tonight already, but she started up again. "How did we cross the line? How are we in so deeply? You are my friend. My dearest friend. Obi…"

"I will always be your friend," I said quickly. "That is not changing. But I must also be Zen's friend. And the way things stand, my feelings are making that very difficult. I'm just asking for time."

She nodded, her cheeks brushing gently against my palms. "I can do that. I can give you time."

"Thank you," I said softly.

We stared at each other, unsure of where to move on from there. I hadn't noticed, but her hands were raised to my waist, clutching the fabric there shakily. I swallowed the heart that was in my throat and moved one of my thumbs across her cheek.

"This will be my fault, okay?" I said, my voice barely a whisper. Shirayuki's eyes searched mine.

"What will be your fault?" she asked, and I was pleased to find her tone more curious than scared.

"I'll confess to Zen tomorrow. I'll tell him everything." My whole body was on fire.

"Obi, what are you talking about?"

"This," I whispered, and I kissed her.

I didn't draw it out; I kept it short. If I lingered it was only a little bit, to feel the catch in her breath against my mouth. Her hands relaxed against my waist as I pulled away, releasing my shirt. Both my arms and hers dropped to our sides as we looked at each other.

"I'll see you at the wedding, then," I said, winking. Shirayuki didn't say a word, but she didn't need to – we'd said all we needed to say. I turned away from her and swung my legs over the balcony, dropping quickly to the window sill below and beginning my descent.

I heard her calling my name, but I didn't look up and I didn't go back. She knew now how I felt, and I knew what it was like to kiss her, just once. I tucked away that memory and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd gotten closure, or if I was just further torturing myself.


	6. Chapter 6

_Shirayuki_

He…kissed me.

Obi kissed me?

I watched as he flung himself over my balcony, and I panicked. I ran to the edge and saw that he was already two windows down, and I yelled his name. I don't know why I did. Did I feel unresolved?

I breathed in the cool night air. My head was reeling. He…loved me. And he'd said it out loud. And then he'd kissed me.

 _Obi kissed me._

It was a different kind of kiss. It didn't feel like Zen's longing, passionate kisses. Obi's kiss was a kind kiss. A friendly kiss. But also...not.

I put my head in my hands and groaned, shaking my hair back and forth. This was a mess.

What would I say to Zen? I had told Obi plain and clear that while I loved him, it wasn't the kind of love that would allow us to be together. I made my choice, and I chose Zen. But my heart tore at the thought of never seeing Obi again.

I stumbled back into my room, securing the lock as I shut my door. I looked around at the shadows that were my bed, desk, and sofas, wondering how my world could look so much the same when it felt shattered. He'd only spoken a few honest things to me, but I felt guilty, sad, and confused. I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, hoping I was tired enough to fall asleep so I didn't have to think any more aching thoughts tonight.


End file.
